Conformity of Chameleons

Most social interaction is based on conformity.

People do not think of it as conformity because the fraction of a second it takes for them to make their decisions doesn’t allow for that kind of attention.

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But if they stopped. To witness that second. What then?

Think about it. How long does it take you to decide how to part your hair? Eat a peach? What to wear?

Advertisers know and behave off the basis of what you do, not what you tell people that you are.

Advertisers have known for centuries what you really are.

What we all are.

Truth be told, if you have to see someone interact with your friends first, before deciding if someone should be your friend – you don’t have enough information to make decisions about people; and should probably keep relying on other’s opinions for all your major decisions. Not just people, but everything; and know–you live the life of a slave. Because you are.

A slave.

Bow your head to your Superiors. Because all you’ll see is His chin. For the rest of your life.

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Not me.

I escaped it. I never owned a car because I knew its effects on my body and mind.

I never watched TV past a certain age cause I knew its effects on my Eyes.

I’ve decided to originate the future.

The path of original experience is all but foreign to people in this corporate age.

Truth be told, if you’re not into Sci-fi, you’re not really that imaginative.

Truth be told, if you’re good looking in this country especially, you are probably shallow.

I am very good looking.

Bad teeth tho.

Truth be told, if you’re not asking a question in at least every 30 seconds of an argument, you’re the one losing.

Truth be told, if you’re not asking your date many questions about themselves and rattle on about yourself–you are interested in someone else. And you – are – shallow. No matter how many other shallow people tell you otherwise.

About 95% of all dates I’ve ever been on (I’ve logged all 504 of them) have a girl who doesn’t ask questions about me. The remaining 5%, ask questions intensively. Including my wife.

Truth be told, if you’re a parent, you’re probably full of shit.

How could you not be? – Your entire perspective is based on a moment of accident and force.  If you’ve repeated it and had more than one kid while the world is about to sincerely end – you are selfish.-

People think parents don’t change their minds about their children. But they do.

Most do. Do you think they ever admit it?

Think again.

Most are not fit to be parents.

But are.

Parents.

Next time you look at someone smart, has a ‘head on their shoulders’ ask yourself what you’re really looking at.

And look closer.

Chameleons change more than color.

Do You?

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9 thoughts on “Conformity of Chameleons

  1. I agree with your perspective on social conformity, Robert Cialdini and Daniel Kahneman have done some really good work in that area in regards to how our brains become wired to take the path of least resistance in order to streamline our brain function, however, I’m confused as to what you mean about parents. “How could you not be? – Your entire perspective is based on a moment of accident and force. If you’ve repeated it and had more than one kid while the world is about to sincerely end – you are selfish.” I don’t understand what this means.

    • Ah, I will certainly look into the work of those two. Thank you! 🙂 Well, as per the parents thing, these absolutes I dole out here are meant to strike at my point rather than parents per se, although I think being a parent is difficult enough that if we could test for it, we should and not allow unfit parents. The computer program for this to be even close to accurate is a little far off. To answer your question specifically: Birth is an accident, in fact. And if you have kids and have second thoughts as most do–you are by incident-ruled by force.

      • Hmm…I definitely agree there are far too many unfit parents in the world. It would be hard to lay out the qualifications for how to weed out unfit parents and it makes me nervous to put the power to select who is fit and who is not to have offspring (In the view of those who believe in “racial” supremacy imagine the strict guidlines they would put forth). I am curious about the birth is an accident. Often I think it is an accident, people seeking pleasure but ending up with responsibility, but often it is intentional, if not predictable. The same way hitting a baseball is: You might connect only a small percentage of the time, but your goal is to hit the ball, and when you do it is with purpose. I will concede though, every parent has moments of second thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, no doubt, but I happen to think the process of overcoming those doubts and using them to strengthen the bonds with our children is beautiful. It is part of what makes us human. I think the destructive part is those socia chameleons you were mentioning before who try to hide this insecurity and weakness and make other feel as though they too should hide behind a veneer of perfect parenting, which doesn’t exist. Really a thought provoking piece you have written.

        • You’ve put it better than I have. Exactly! On the other hand, YES life is chalk full of feelings of inadequacy and changing of heart. It doesn’t mean we’re hypocrites, in a rational context.

          But what about the norm, of this context?

          What about when everything and everybody tells you (implicitly) that you’re a loser because you don’t do certain things like being a parent? And then provides pitfalls, financial and otherwise to non-parents? Like FDR’s New Deal that brought in incentives for Home Owners with kids…

          It all means the society itself which puts the monumental pressure to have kids, picket fence, pay taxes to build bombs and make the rich, richer, which is foisted upon – us — is – an oppressive thing that should be usurped and destroyed.

          I like your baseball analogy and will use it actually, it fits in, but it seems you are omitting the fact (to my perspective) that we live in a world of Robber Barons and Pigs. The context we don’t wish to admit to. Then Smokey the Bear tells us to prevent forest fires.

          “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

          Meaning: You are failing. The Ad Council knows the manipulation they are responsible for. This is why Smokey has nothing to do with prevent forest fires and never has. It’s about making us to blame. And then believing it.

          That said, in a normal rational society, everything you’ve said would function. Well, normally.

          I am a parent and am forced because it was an accident. I love my daughter, but this is a coincidence and mostly because I was raised to be a fit parents, cause mostly I had good rational parents. And my daughter happens to be awesome. Another coincidence.

          What isn’t, coincidence.

          Answer: Advertising.

          That said, what is the world made of mostly?

          Advertising.

          Or a mirror.

          Whichever you prefer 😉

          • I think that you have some good points. I think that our current state of corruption is a sypmtom of culture and biology. Powerful people want to consolodate that power for their families and their legacy. From an economic perspective, they incentivize those things that will perpetuate that power. Those without that power tend to fall into whatever line will allow them to take advantage of those incentives. Because of the fact that those with power and wealth are the ones that have the ability to reward those who perform to the incentives they tend to be the ones who benefit. Thus our current system. Corrupt? Unquestionable. Nefarious? A bit. Human? Absolutely. The larger question in regards to that, is, will the people who don’t buy into that system do what is necessary to change it? I’m not sure. I’m glad to hear about your daughter. Do you feel like you wouldn’t love your daughter if she wasn’t awesome? Or do you think that you would feel she is awesome because you are her father? I have three daugthers, all of whom I think are awesome, but I’m pretty sure part of the reason I think they are that way is because I am there father.

            • I get you. I do indeed feel that unconditional love is not only or merely a mistake, but such a mistake as to impinge our very existence as rational and compassionate. It is impossible to be fully human if unconditional love is made the standard and it is, an impossible standard.

              If my daughter became a complete advocate of Hilary Clinton, Trump or supported the corporate system in any way explicit and convicted. I would no longer be her father, by my choice. That is, I believe in a world of voluntary action and the accident of birth is used by money to enslave as you have outlined. But I ask, why do you not call it slavery? Why do you ask how it can be changed, when the only thing that will do it is code, hackers, and force…?

              • Hmm…I supposed it is slavery of a sort, but all of existence is slavery of a sort. Because we must eat, is that not being a slave to food? Because we must sleep, is that not bondage to our need for rest? Ultimately we are all slaves to life and death. Yet, it we are allowed choices within that slavery that is where the beauty of life exists. I think that the ideal of unconditional love, is what we should aspire for. Yet, unconditional love is not the same thing as unconditional acceptance or unconditional liking. For instance, regardless of what my daughters views are regarding politics, religion, whatever the case may be, I will always love them, even if I do not support them in their views. I don’t think those are mutually exclusive. It gets dicey, but love is just wanting the ultimate good for another, I can want that even as I want an individual to fail in a particular situation. There is a fine line and nuance. I suppose that make me a slave to love in a non-cheesy 80’s pop ballad kind of way, but if there is one thing that can lead to change, though I couldn’t begin to tell you the specific, and I would want to be a slave to, it the ideal of love, follow closely by rational thought. As much as we think of exterior force as the change agent in society, it is trumped (no pun intended) by the transformative power of movements of the heart.

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